Thank you for sharing this - as you know this balance between feeling in alignment & getting on and doing stuff within the capitalist world we live in, is one I've also been wrangling with a lot lately! I do feel a lot more sensitive to shifts between something feeling in alignment, and then something happening that feels off to me about it.
As part of this I've recognised that I can also be sometimes all or nothing about stuff, so have been learning to pause in my reaction to check in whether something is a deal breaker, or whether it's a situation where I can still take the stuff that resonates and leave the rest.
However it would definitely put me off investing more in something like a course, because like you say, the understanding of the nervous system is so fundamental to it all, to then act in a way not aligned with what they are planning to teach breaks the trust, puts your nervous system into that alert state and could significantly reduce what you're likely to get out of it. Thanks again for sharing, I always feel like I get so much from your posts!
It’s great to hear your thoughts. I know chatting to you has brought the tricky balance more to the forefront of my mind too. I do relate to the all or nothing response. Sometimes I wonder if it’s part of the reason I feel a bit frozen in moving forward with creative ideas. It does take reflection to know what is acceptable and what isn’t to me. There has to be allowance for some nuance and compromise otherwise you wouldn’t do anything. It has helped me to write about it. It’s lovely to hear that you find my posts useful. Thank you for your support 💜✨
This has been a really thought-provoking read thank you. I think that stepping-back and reflecting is a key thing for me, and to be continually reviewing and making whatever good changes are possible to how I live and work. I have compromise in my working practice. While I use solar energy, rainwater and leaves I also currently have stock of material which I know has been imported from China as I can't afford any alternative at the moment, which gives a feeling of misalignment which I want to move away from as and when I can. I'm hoping to develop continual movement towards better choices in all areas of life, and always to be looking for better alternatives.
I’m glad you found it a thought-provoking read. It sounds like you have a good approach. I think the main thing is to be able to review and look for better choices where you can. It’s great you use solar energy and rainwater. For certain materials there are limitations. With products I buy, I know I’m not always able to go for the most sustainable. I’m slowly trying to move in the direction I want to go. I feel it’s better to do small changes than feel overwhelmed and never make any. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. It’s interesting to hear from you.
Yes exactly as you say making small achievable changes is what I want to be doing. I'm so easily completely overwhelmed by anxiety and fear and dread that little-but-often reviews and alterations is more manageable.
You raise really good, complicated questions here, and I think there are no right answers. Or maybe no good answers, with the ways in which our world is currently organized. I struggled through the years in which I was working full-time. I'm in a better place now, but I'm still working through and reflecting on how I might have done things differently when I was raising my children and had to work and wanted to create. Now I can give more time to creative pursuits--and yes, of course, sure I would like to make money and could certainly use some--but I think I still don't want to monetize, for the reasons you outline. It is so hard to do that and be in alignment with values. For me, at least. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who sees things the way I do.
I’m glad to hear you have similar thoughts too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone when facing these type of questions and complexities. The main reason I wanted to write about it was to see what others thought. There may not be clear answers, but at least knowing others find the balance tricky too helps.
The mix of working, looking after children and wanting to create too is a hard one. I felt very torn when I was working full-time and my son was at nursery 5 days a week. I wanted to be there more for him, but we needed the money at the time. I was also slowly returning back to art and squeezing it in when I could. I think it did all end up taking a toll, and contributed to the health issues I have now. It is a struggle and not easy to know what to do for the best. I’m glad you’re in a better place now and can give more time to creative pursuits.
Creativity and monetization is a tricky one. Everyone has a different approach. I think all you can do is find a way that feels right to you now, allowing it to change when the time is right. At the moment, I want to explore and create what I value. But if at some point it does lead to a way of earning some money that feels right, then I will be open to that too. I often find you never quite know where life will lead. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and thoughts. It’s appreciated.
This is a really good read and something to which I'm guessing most of us can relate. I'm so tired of seeing inflated values in many online businesses. I recently signed up for a free training on a technical topic, knew there would be a sales pitch, and was okay with that, but the monetary values assigned to the bonuses were inflated and seemed arbitrary and disingenuous. One thing I really appreciate about Substack is that subscription prices seem more aligned with the value we typically assign to news subscriptions and magazines.
It’s nice to hear you found it a good read Shan. Yes I think most of us can relate to it in some way. I agree seeing inflated values at times is rather annoying and not really needed. I find it doesn’t really help build trust. It is good subscription prices feel more aligned on here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. It’s interesting to hear what other people think about this topic.
Thank you for sharing this Emily. Such an important topic to discuss. What are our values and are we aligned with those values? Do our actions match what we believe? I can definitely resonate with the ‘pushy’ tactics in the online space. Finance coaches urging you to ‘invest in yourself’ - even if you actually cannot afford it. And the slow living movement has become trendy - a trend that I absolutely support. But not if it means we’re curating our days to prove who’s living the “slowest” in a way that provokes competition. Lots to consider here - thank you for sharing!
Yes I do think it is an important topic to discuss and reflect on. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking that. I think at times our actions can easily become misaligned if we don’t take a step back and question them. I know it happens to me, so understand how it can easily happen to others. I find it’s good to pause and go back to my values as much as possible.
I’m glad it’s not just me who finds some tactics rather pushy. I’m really glad the slow living movement has become popular too. But there has been something niggling me about it the past year. I think you have really captured that niggle with your words ‘curating our days to prove who’s living the “slowest” in a way that provokes competition.’ I read your words and was like yes, that is what has been niggling at me. You’ve given me more to think about with your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them Jess. I’ve found it really helpful hearing what others have to say.
Emily, what a reflective piece! Before I say anything more, if I may reassure you a bit about the misalignment with sticking to Substack, I highly recommend reading this wonderful essay on the subject: https://ifnotparis.substack.com/p/i-too-have-a-nazi-problem.
Outside of Substack, we breathe the same air as people who may say awful things and hurt others, we use the same products, maybe we work in the same environment unknowingly. It's impossible to avoid such encounters. All we can do is be good to others ourselves, lead by example, be better so our actions align with our values.
I agree with you, as humans who make mistakes from time to time, w may have the best intentions, but we may not act to the best of those intentions. We can only learn from that. I have a few regrets, and every day, I think about how I can do better, be better.
I'm sorry you had such an overwhelming experience with the healthcare professionals. It baffles me they could make such a definitive statement about your condition via not even seeing you physically. And I imagine physically it may be tough and tiring to travel. They would have had a better assessment having they seen you face to face. But yes, they may have good intentions, but the way they go about it I imagine they're still learning about the nuances and specifics CF. And yes, what a dichotomy, people selling you a product, but they way they go about it feels strange. I've been more in tune about that too. It's a sales tactic. Oftentimes the supply is greater than the demand, so they manipulate the demand side like that.
Thank you, I will have a read of the essay linked. You do make a very good point that it’s impossible to avoid certain encounters. It is all about what we can do ourselves. I very much believe you have to start with yourself and hope there are ripples from there. We all make mistakes. I’ve found it’s better to learn from them than just beat myself up about them. Though often easier said than done!
The whole healthcare experience did feel rather bizarre. I do think there is still so much that is unknown within the CFS space. The guidance isn’t always there for these type of services. Though more funding would have helped to enable more sessions with breaks. It felt it was delivered on a short budget. I’m glad it’s not just me that finds certain sales tactics uncomfortable. It’s been interesting to hear how others have felt similar in certain situations.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It’s given me more to think about too.
Indeed. Some people even have dialogue to come to a common ground, others convince people to abandon something that's absolutely evil. Though I have yet to witness any evil on Substack. It's rare and can be ignored. Everyone I've ever interacted with has been kind. If there was a weird interaction, I was neutral or ignored. Oh gosh, yes, rest is so important between those intense sessions. I have a good friend who gets symptomatic from an interaction you had and has to recover for days or weeks. I find technological stimuli to be very exhausting too. I can't focus for more than an hour. After that, I'm done. I hope someday there will be better management in the healthcare system, better understanding, more empathy. Some tests can be quite invasive and time consuming too. It's always such a dread.
Such a great post - really thought-provoking. And love the pics! Finding time to reconnect to nature is so important. And the whole issue of how to escape from fatigue/exhaustion in modern life is fascinating too. Strangely, I find some activities (+ people/places etc) energising, and others draining. I guess it’s partly about learning to understand and accept ourselves: our tendencies, qualities/capacities and limitations; what works for us.
Thank you James. I’m glad you found it a thought-provoking read. I agree some activities can be more energising or draining than others. We all have to find what works best for us. It can be tricky to get the balance right! One I’m sure I will be continually adjusting throughout life.
This is such an interesting topic and one I think about a lot. I think I make a high level of comprise to try to align things I do to my values but sometimes do wonder if I’m making things difficult for myself/don’t have the balance quite right. I don’t know if you’ve read it but I love Deb Dana’s book Anchored re nervous system regulation - it’s quite sciency and I had to take it in chunks but I’ve found it really informative and helpful.
I find getting the right balance isn’t easy. It is a topic that does keep coming up for me at the moment. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in that. I will definitely take a look at the book. It sounds interesting and an area I am currently exploring. I have just started a course that looks at nervous system regulation, so I’m hoping it will help me with the fatigue I experience. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
beautiful pictures
Thank you 💜 I did love how the sunlight illuminated the clouds that day. It made for a dramatic sky.
Thank you for sharing this - as you know this balance between feeling in alignment & getting on and doing stuff within the capitalist world we live in, is one I've also been wrangling with a lot lately! I do feel a lot more sensitive to shifts between something feeling in alignment, and then something happening that feels off to me about it.
As part of this I've recognised that I can also be sometimes all or nothing about stuff, so have been learning to pause in my reaction to check in whether something is a deal breaker, or whether it's a situation where I can still take the stuff that resonates and leave the rest.
However it would definitely put me off investing more in something like a course, because like you say, the understanding of the nervous system is so fundamental to it all, to then act in a way not aligned with what they are planning to teach breaks the trust, puts your nervous system into that alert state and could significantly reduce what you're likely to get out of it. Thanks again for sharing, I always feel like I get so much from your posts!
It’s great to hear your thoughts. I know chatting to you has brought the tricky balance more to the forefront of my mind too. I do relate to the all or nothing response. Sometimes I wonder if it’s part of the reason I feel a bit frozen in moving forward with creative ideas. It does take reflection to know what is acceptable and what isn’t to me. There has to be allowance for some nuance and compromise otherwise you wouldn’t do anything. It has helped me to write about it. It’s lovely to hear that you find my posts useful. Thank you for your support 💜✨
This has been a really thought-provoking read thank you. I think that stepping-back and reflecting is a key thing for me, and to be continually reviewing and making whatever good changes are possible to how I live and work. I have compromise in my working practice. While I use solar energy, rainwater and leaves I also currently have stock of material which I know has been imported from China as I can't afford any alternative at the moment, which gives a feeling of misalignment which I want to move away from as and when I can. I'm hoping to develop continual movement towards better choices in all areas of life, and always to be looking for better alternatives.
I’m glad you found it a thought-provoking read. It sounds like you have a good approach. I think the main thing is to be able to review and look for better choices where you can. It’s great you use solar energy and rainwater. For certain materials there are limitations. With products I buy, I know I’m not always able to go for the most sustainable. I’m slowly trying to move in the direction I want to go. I feel it’s better to do small changes than feel overwhelmed and never make any. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. It’s interesting to hear from you.
Yes exactly as you say making small achievable changes is what I want to be doing. I'm so easily completely overwhelmed by anxiety and fear and dread that little-but-often reviews and alterations is more manageable.
You raise really good, complicated questions here, and I think there are no right answers. Or maybe no good answers, with the ways in which our world is currently organized. I struggled through the years in which I was working full-time. I'm in a better place now, but I'm still working through and reflecting on how I might have done things differently when I was raising my children and had to work and wanted to create. Now I can give more time to creative pursuits--and yes, of course, sure I would like to make money and could certainly use some--but I think I still don't want to monetize, for the reasons you outline. It is so hard to do that and be in alignment with values. For me, at least. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who sees things the way I do.
I’m glad to hear you have similar thoughts too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone when facing these type of questions and complexities. The main reason I wanted to write about it was to see what others thought. There may not be clear answers, but at least knowing others find the balance tricky too helps.
The mix of working, looking after children and wanting to create too is a hard one. I felt very torn when I was working full-time and my son was at nursery 5 days a week. I wanted to be there more for him, but we needed the money at the time. I was also slowly returning back to art and squeezing it in when I could. I think it did all end up taking a toll, and contributed to the health issues I have now. It is a struggle and not easy to know what to do for the best. I’m glad you’re in a better place now and can give more time to creative pursuits.
Creativity and monetization is a tricky one. Everyone has a different approach. I think all you can do is find a way that feels right to you now, allowing it to change when the time is right. At the moment, I want to explore and create what I value. But if at some point it does lead to a way of earning some money that feels right, then I will be open to that too. I often find you never quite know where life will lead. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and thoughts. It’s appreciated.
This is a really good read and something to which I'm guessing most of us can relate. I'm so tired of seeing inflated values in many online businesses. I recently signed up for a free training on a technical topic, knew there would be a sales pitch, and was okay with that, but the monetary values assigned to the bonuses were inflated and seemed arbitrary and disingenuous. One thing I really appreciate about Substack is that subscription prices seem more aligned with the value we typically assign to news subscriptions and magazines.
It’s nice to hear you found it a good read Shan. Yes I think most of us can relate to it in some way. I agree seeing inflated values at times is rather annoying and not really needed. I find it doesn’t really help build trust. It is good subscription prices feel more aligned on here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. It’s interesting to hear what other people think about this topic.
Thank you for sharing this Emily. Such an important topic to discuss. What are our values and are we aligned with those values? Do our actions match what we believe? I can definitely resonate with the ‘pushy’ tactics in the online space. Finance coaches urging you to ‘invest in yourself’ - even if you actually cannot afford it. And the slow living movement has become trendy - a trend that I absolutely support. But not if it means we’re curating our days to prove who’s living the “slowest” in a way that provokes competition. Lots to consider here - thank you for sharing!
Yes I do think it is an important topic to discuss and reflect on. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking that. I think at times our actions can easily become misaligned if we don’t take a step back and question them. I know it happens to me, so understand how it can easily happen to others. I find it’s good to pause and go back to my values as much as possible.
I’m glad it’s not just me who finds some tactics rather pushy. I’m really glad the slow living movement has become popular too. But there has been something niggling me about it the past year. I think you have really captured that niggle with your words ‘curating our days to prove who’s living the “slowest” in a way that provokes competition.’ I read your words and was like yes, that is what has been niggling at me. You’ve given me more to think about with your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them Jess. I’ve found it really helpful hearing what others have to say.
Emily, what a reflective piece! Before I say anything more, if I may reassure you a bit about the misalignment with sticking to Substack, I highly recommend reading this wonderful essay on the subject: https://ifnotparis.substack.com/p/i-too-have-a-nazi-problem.
Outside of Substack, we breathe the same air as people who may say awful things and hurt others, we use the same products, maybe we work in the same environment unknowingly. It's impossible to avoid such encounters. All we can do is be good to others ourselves, lead by example, be better so our actions align with our values.
I agree with you, as humans who make mistakes from time to time, w may have the best intentions, but we may not act to the best of those intentions. We can only learn from that. I have a few regrets, and every day, I think about how I can do better, be better.
I'm sorry you had such an overwhelming experience with the healthcare professionals. It baffles me they could make such a definitive statement about your condition via not even seeing you physically. And I imagine physically it may be tough and tiring to travel. They would have had a better assessment having they seen you face to face. But yes, they may have good intentions, but the way they go about it I imagine they're still learning about the nuances and specifics CF. And yes, what a dichotomy, people selling you a product, but they way they go about it feels strange. I've been more in tune about that too. It's a sales tactic. Oftentimes the supply is greater than the demand, so they manipulate the demand side like that.
Thank you. So much food for thought!
Thank you, I will have a read of the essay linked. You do make a very good point that it’s impossible to avoid certain encounters. It is all about what we can do ourselves. I very much believe you have to start with yourself and hope there are ripples from there. We all make mistakes. I’ve found it’s better to learn from them than just beat myself up about them. Though often easier said than done!
The whole healthcare experience did feel rather bizarre. I do think there is still so much that is unknown within the CFS space. The guidance isn’t always there for these type of services. Though more funding would have helped to enable more sessions with breaks. It felt it was delivered on a short budget. I’m glad it’s not just me that finds certain sales tactics uncomfortable. It’s been interesting to hear how others have felt similar in certain situations.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It’s given me more to think about too.
Indeed. Some people even have dialogue to come to a common ground, others convince people to abandon something that's absolutely evil. Though I have yet to witness any evil on Substack. It's rare and can be ignored. Everyone I've ever interacted with has been kind. If there was a weird interaction, I was neutral or ignored. Oh gosh, yes, rest is so important between those intense sessions. I have a good friend who gets symptomatic from an interaction you had and has to recover for days or weeks. I find technological stimuli to be very exhausting too. I can't focus for more than an hour. After that, I'm done. I hope someday there will be better management in the healthcare system, better understanding, more empathy. Some tests can be quite invasive and time consuming too. It's always such a dread.
Such a great post - really thought-provoking. And love the pics! Finding time to reconnect to nature is so important. And the whole issue of how to escape from fatigue/exhaustion in modern life is fascinating too. Strangely, I find some activities (+ people/places etc) energising, and others draining. I guess it’s partly about learning to understand and accept ourselves: our tendencies, qualities/capacities and limitations; what works for us.
Thank you James. I’m glad you found it a thought-provoking read. I agree some activities can be more energising or draining than others. We all have to find what works best for us. It can be tricky to get the balance right! One I’m sure I will be continually adjusting throughout life.
This is such an interesting topic and one I think about a lot. I think I make a high level of comprise to try to align things I do to my values but sometimes do wonder if I’m making things difficult for myself/don’t have the balance quite right. I don’t know if you’ve read it but I love Deb Dana’s book Anchored re nervous system regulation - it’s quite sciency and I had to take it in chunks but I’ve found it really informative and helpful.
I find getting the right balance isn’t easy. It is a topic that does keep coming up for me at the moment. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in that. I will definitely take a look at the book. It sounds interesting and an area I am currently exploring. I have just started a course that looks at nervous system regulation, so I’m hoping it will help me with the fatigue I experience. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.